Full Service Shopping
Jacob, 85, and Rebecca, 79, were excited about their upcoming wedding. Out for a stroll, they stopped at a drugstore.
Jacob said to the pharmacist, “Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Off course we do”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
Pharmacist: “Definitively.”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely”
Jacob: “You have loose bowel and gas pills?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, with plenty of generics.”
Jacob: “What about paraphernalia for diabetes?”
Pharmacist: “Of course. You name any condition, and we have what you need.”
Jacob: “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Mars Bar
Mars Bar
I remember when I was a wee nipper, we had a down syndrome lad who always used to ride around the village on his pushbike, who we rather fondly dubbed "Spaggy Richard".
Unfortunately for him, he was gullible as ducks, so when my friend told him that the dogshit that was under a car tyre was a mars bar, he picked it up and started chewing on it while "Mmmmmm"-ing loudly.
Good old Spaggy Richard.
I remember when I was a wee nipper, we had a down syndrome lad who always used to ride around the village on his pushbike, who we rather fondly dubbed "Spaggy Richard".
Unfortunately for him, he was gullible as ducks, so when my friend told him that the dogshit that was under a car tyre was a mars bar, he picked it up and started chewing on it while "Mmmmmm"-ing loudly.
Good old Spaggy Richard.
Getting Married!
Getting Married!
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her husband, 'Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin'. 'What?' said the puzzled groom. 'How can that be if you've been married ten times?
Well...........
* Husband 1 was an Architect; he kept on telling me how great it was going to be.
* Husband 2 was a Computer Manager; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
* Husband 3 was a Services Consultant; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
* Husband 4 was a Project Manager; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
* Husband 5 was a Structural Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the art method.
* Husband 6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
* Husband 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
* Husband 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
* Husband 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
* Husband 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was .....God I miss him!
But now that I've married you, 'I'm so excited!'
'Great' said the husband, 'but, why?'
'You're an Estate Agent. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get f*cked!'
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her husband, 'Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin'. 'What?' said the puzzled groom. 'How can that be if you've been married ten times?
Well...........
* Husband 1 was an Architect; he kept on telling me how great it was going to be.
* Husband 2 was a Computer Manager; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
* Husband 3 was a Services Consultant; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
* Husband 4 was a Project Manager; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
* Husband 5 was a Structural Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the art method.
* Husband 6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
* Husband 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
* Husband 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
* Husband 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
* Husband 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was .....God I miss him!
But now that I've married you, 'I'm so excited!'
'Great' said the husband, 'but, why?'
'You're an Estate Agent. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get f*cked!'
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